it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
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