Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Even my vagina gasped.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
God I need to hump something, right now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize