Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
