dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
