8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
