the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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