so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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