you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
