It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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