Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
