She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize