Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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