I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize