A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
