You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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