You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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