He asked me if I "almost moaned"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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