i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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