ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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