Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Be still, my beating vagina.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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