i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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