you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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