Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
