New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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