no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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