walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
