She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
