she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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