Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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