i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
