Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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