I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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