matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My butt remains clenched, sir.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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