She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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