Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
