Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
