Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize