Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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