Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize