There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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