There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
