We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize