i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
