just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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