if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
