It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize