So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
