Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
