She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize