This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
