dude i'm inner monologue high
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
