Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
