Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
