Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
