Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
