you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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