Me. At least after what I've been through.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
