Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize