Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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