that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize