I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
