she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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