how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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