Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
