I don't think brook has ever known best
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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