Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
