imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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