i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
worst night to have a conscience
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
